


Listen

by suckerformagic



Series: Sensitive [1]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Also dirk needs more sleep, Big thanks to rarecoincidinks for betaing this work, First work - Freeform, I wrote this on a phone, Todd is scared to mess things up, and he cares about dirk, and to believe in himself, because he's todd, beware of alligators, but he wont, feedback is very welcome, if I'm gonna write fan fiction no better place to start than Dirk Gently, so there's a lot of formatting errors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 05:34:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9221255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suckerformagic/pseuds/suckerformagic
Summary: Todd finds something that Dirk wrote





	

Dirk is out when Todd finds the first list.   
  
Well, out is relative; Dirk had seen a lady walking her dog through the window of their shared apartment and suddenly proclaimed that he had a intense “hunch” to go downstairs. He was currently petting said dog on the pavement outside.   
  
Moving over to the window to make sure Dirk wasn't annoying the poor woman (she seemed more amazed than anything at the man-child currently nuzzling her labrador), Todd had happened to glance at what Dirk had been working on before he’d  rushed out.   
  
It was a list, on the back of a takeout receipt from the previous day's dinner. Dirk’s scrawled and careless handwriting was nearly illegible, but Todd picked it up anyways, assuming groceries.    
  
_ Names for the Kitten-Shark _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Kark _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Shitten  _ (Todd let out a confused laugh.) _   
_ _   
_ _ Penelope _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Gerald - is it a male cat? Is it a male shark? Does really matter? Why do names have assigned genders anyways? Whatever the reason I will from now on specifically disregard it. _ _   
_   
Todd considered this for a moment; he’d  never thought of that before. Why did names have assigned genders? Why is Todd always a male and Amanda always female? What made a name male other than its history of maleness? Shaking his head, Todd shooed this thought aside and continued reading.   
  
_ Benjamin _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Electra, because it's a electric ghost shark-kitten _ _   
_ _ Is the kitten/shark still alive? In the woods? Can sharks even eat and hunt using a kitten’s body? _ _   
_   
_ Paulina _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Friend? Was the kitten a friend? It did kill Patrick Spring but that wasn't really its fault was it? _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Bombalurina _   
  
There were a couple more items, but they were too illegible to make out (though Todd was pretty sure one said “fish food”). Unsure what to make of it, Todd simply stared at the list for a moment. Dirk wasn't really the kind to sit and write, he was more the do-and-never-stop-talking type. Like, ever. Todd had even heard him rambling  in his sleep once (something about  dancing cacti and ghost toilets).   
  
He couldn't really fathom why Dirk had written it, but suddenly it felt very personal - the kind of writing that was meant to be written but not read. Feeling intrusive, Todd quickly set the paper down and moved away.   
  
He stole a glance out the window. Dirk was now fervently apologizing to the lady, whose companion appeared unwilling to leave and was pulling back towards the detective. After a moment he gave it a little wave and turned back to the building, leaving both owner and dog looking rather windswept and flustered. (Todd felt this was a fair reaction; even now most of his interactions with Dirk left him in at least a mild state of cognitive disequilibrium.)   
  
Slouching onto the couch, Todd busied himself with his phone until Dirk arrived, humming Star Wars offbeat and looking rather pleased with himself.   
  
“Well, you seem happy,” greeted Todd, allowing himself a slight smile. Dirk returned it immediately with a lopsided grin. Puffing out his chest, he proclaimed, “I got us a case.”   
  
“Oh?”   
  
“There's been a invasion of extraterrestrials who, by some alien means, have altered their appearance to look human, and have created a secret society– dare I say, colony– of alien dog walkers! I'm quite fascinated myself in their apparent fixation on man’s best friend– maybe they think dogs are the dominant race on Earth! That would certainly explain all the YouTube videos– have they discovered a way of communicating with dogs? Can humans use it? Are dogs actually much smarter than we think they are?”   
  
“Dirk.”   
  
“Yes, Todd?”   
  
“Extraterrestrial dog walkers colonizing our planet?”   
  
“Yes! Exactly! Good to know we’re on the same page Todd. Now I have some theories about the hidden alien function of the so called ‘doggie bag’–”   
  
Todd didn't mention the list. He put it out of his mind.   
  
\------   
  
Until he found another.   
  
It was three days later, and Todd was emptying the trash when he glimpsed a vibrantly purple sticky-note underneath an empty coke bottle. He gingerly pulled it out. This time there were two columns.   
  
_ Things that make sense to me but not to others _ _   
_ _   
_ _ The flow of the universe _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Stream of creation _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Hunches _ _   
_   
_ Things that don't make sense to me _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Traffic (Todd keeps saying there are all these complicated driving rules) _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Romance (But I don't need that) _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Why Todd hasn't left yet _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Staplers _   
  
_ Time Loops (Can time actually be altered? Or has every change to the past already happened so there's no try way to change it? What if you know that you will time travel to the past so you choose not to and something that already happened unhappens? Can you even choose not to?) _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Supermarkets _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Tutus _   
  
Todd read the sticky-note again. Then again. And again. Then he quickly stuffed it back into the trash, feeling like he had violated some kind of social code.   
  
_ Why Todd hasn't left yet _   
  
Dirk really didn't understand why he was still here? He expected him to have left by now?   
  
Todd shuddered.   
  
Of course, at first Todd hadn't understood why he stuck around either, but then the fiasco at Spring mansion happened, and Amanda had given him some pretty good advice, and he had kind of figured out why he didn’t leave. Wouldn't leave. Couldn't leave.   
  
But Dirk was still expecting him to.   
  
“Why are you staring into that trash can like it just insulted your mother’s second favorite horse?”   
  
Todd turned to find Dirk inquisitively staring, head slightly to the side. He quickly straightened and mumbled, “Er, sorry… guess I spaced out– Wait, second favorite?”   
  
Dirk nodded. “Yes Todd, second favorite, if the offending trash bin had insulted your mother's first favorite horse you surely would have strangled it by now.”   
  
Todd sighed. “Glad to know you think so highly of me.” This apparently unsettled Dirk, for he quickly responded, “On the contrary Todd, I find your sense of vengeance quite reassuring, and hope that you will thoroughly defend any of my second favorite horses from insultive trash cans with the same vigor and devotion that you defend your mother's.”   
  
Todd sighed again. he certainly sighed a lot when Dirk spoke. Listening to Dirk was very sigh-inducing. “Sure, Dirk. How about you take this trash out and I'll be sure to defend all of your second favorite animals from insultive trash cans.”   
  
Dirk grinned and reached for the bin.   
  
“It's a deal, I'll be back in jiffy.”   
  
“Oh, and Dirk?”   
  
“Yes Todd?”   
  
“Check the inside of the can after you empty it, it says gullible in the bottom.” Dirk's eyes glinted with surprise and joy for a moment before he turned to exit, leaving Todd to brood over his strange friend until he eventually returned, demanding that there wasn't anything written in the bottom of the trash.   
  
\--   
  
Todd kept finding lists. A crumpled napkin on the kitchen counter, a used envelope shoved haphazardly in a drawer. It seemed to him that as soon as they were written Dirk forgot about them and tossed them aside. Maybe he intended for Todd to find them, but Todd doubted it. Dirk was anything but subtle.   
  
He always put them back where he had found them, and they always disappeared within a day. Todd felt like he shouldn't read them, but curiousity always got the better of him.   
  
One day he returned late after a long day out with Amanda (“We’re gonna spend some sibling time together today, we’ll go to the mall and you'll buy me things and then we're gonna see a movie. You can't say no.") and entered his apartment to find Dirk asleep on the couch, still wearing his shoes and an atrociously orange leather jacket.   
  
He checked the time, 2:04.   
  
Had he been waiting up? Todd wondered, moving closer. Dirk looked exhausted, with dark circles under his eyes and a sad case of bedhead. Had he not been sleeping enough recently? Todd hadn't noticed.   
  
His eyes fell into the scrap of paper next to Dirk’s hand. Moving quietly as not to disturb his friend, Todd carefully picked it up.   
  
_ Things that Dirk Gently loves _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Todd _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Amanda _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Farrah _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Small animals _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Fuzzy blankets _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Hot tea _   
  
Todd sighed with a soft appreciation for the gentle detective on his couch, and moved to return the paper, when he noticed it had another side.   
  
_ Things that love Dirk Gently _ __   
  
The list was empty.   
  
Todd was stunned. Dirk didn't know how much they all cared for him? He couldn't see that? Dirk thought there was nothing that loved him. 

  
Quickly and silently, he found a pen and started to write. When he was content with his handiwork, he found the fuzziest blanket in the apartment and gently laid it over his friend. He replaced the paper.   
  
Determined and satisfied, Todd went to bed, vowing to take Dirk to Petsmart the next day. He fell asleep quickly, and dreamed about Dirk adopting an alligator named Fred.   
  
_ Things that love Dirk Gently _ _   
_ _   
_ _ His best assis-friend Todd _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Amanda _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Farrah _ _   
_ _   
_ __ Small animals


End file.
